West Africa on the Move - April 2006

So many freaky happenings in West Africa these days.

On my way to work last week, I saw a naked guy walking down the street in front of the police station. He is not the Ghanaian version of the “naked guy” in Berkeley who is making some political statement about not liking clothes made in China or whatever, but a full-blown, crazy, naked guy. He was walking by a group of Ghanaians waiting for the bus, who looked right past him just like most people do to the homeless in America. Apologists for African poverty always talk about how “It takes a village” and how people in Africa (unlike other places?) “Care about families!” At the end of the day people are people. They get used to seeing misery and, after a while, they ignore it.

A few days later, I saw the naked guy in a ditch. He was washing his rag of a clothing item he sometimes wears like a thong in a stream that runs through the ditch on the side of the road. I wondered about the house in the background and whether someone like me was living there and had to explain to his or her family or friends about the naked guy living in a ditch in front of their house.

A few weekends back, my husband called out to me as I was enjoying Armed Forces Network cable during my son’s nap. He yelled in a slightly panicked voice, “Have you eaten?! Come here and tell me what this is!” I entered the bathroom and at the bottom of the toilet bowl was a long, thin (width of a phone cord) black snake-looking thing wiggling around at the bottom of the toilet bowl. We couldn’t see a head or any appendages, and all we could do is stare at it in horror and look at each other and say, “What the hell is that?” After grossing out a considerable amount, my husband asked me, “What are we going to do!?” I said, “Flush it.” Problem solved. I am told it was probably a legless salamander or some other amphibious creature. I don’t even want to think about how it got into our water supply. I avoid that bathroom now.

Armed Forces Network. What a great thing that is. What other country would make sure that its troops (and diplomatic corps) have access to cable that consolidates all the best shows on all U.S. TV channels for our viewing pleasure! It’s like free TIVO. What I like are all the public service announcements and history lessons instead of commercials. Wouldn’t you rather hear about the story of Lincoln being shot or some war hero in Vietnam or the story of Iwo Jima instead of watching commercials? And you get to learn all about the military and the subtleties of military media indoctrination! Just kidding—it is surprisingly not indoctrinational. The best thing about Armed Forces Network is that it, ironically I think, carries both the John Stewart and Stephen Colbert political comedy shows. I stay up for those. It is all that keeps me sane working for the U.S. government. I wonder if these guys know how popular their shows are with the U.S. military and Foreign Service.

The big news these days in West Africa is Charles Taylor (Liberia's evil former leader) and how he is finally where he deserves to be—in the slammer waiting to be judged for war crimes. It is quite an anomaly that a former West African leader and millionaire (not to mention psychopath) was unable to bribe his way out of Nigeria, of all places. And he is in jail! It’s awesome. I can’t imagine the pressure that was brought to bear on Nigeria to make that happen. I was speculating with my French tutor that if he had made it into Cameroon, or worse, into the Central African Republic next door, he would have disappeared like Pol Pot. Some people worry about Charles Taylor being in a jail cell in Sierra Leone and how that will destabilize the region. They want him transferred to The Hague. I say let him rot in Freetown. Unfortunately, instead of suffering like the rest of the Sierra Leonean population who have to live without electricity, running water, and who suffer endemic malaria, I hear he has both TV and air conditioning. I was definitely hoping for more local jail conditions for him, given how much he deserves them. Slobodan Milosevic at his evil best couldn’t hold a candle to this guy. Anyway, when an African former head of state can’t bribe his way out of a jail cell, it gives me hope for West Africa’s future.

Another bright star emerging in the region is Ellen Johnson Sirleaf. If you don’t know who she is, Google her. It’s another sign of progress for West Africa when leaders who are not delusional get elected President (in this case, in Liberia). She is the first female to be elected President in African history. She is also an economist, a great public speaker (so rare here) and really smart. It's about time a leader like Sirleaf emerged in the region, but unfortunately Liberia is a basket case. I hope she survives the inevitable coup plots and can turn that country in the right direction. You can bet that the U.S. Government will do everything in its power to support Liberia now. Western government workers love it when someone who is not nuts becomes President somewhere in Africa and is actually willing to receive our assistance and listen to our advice. I think Liberia’s problem is going to be prioritizing all the “assistance” she will get from us. Sometimes we love countries to death. Anyway, it’s nice to have another West African country for the U.S. to love besides Ghana.

Ah, Ghana. It has its first mall. Ok, it’s not a real mall; it’s more like a small, two-story strip mall with about fifteen stores. But it is a child-friendly destination with a great, very sunny, outdoor playground for toddlers. My son loves it. There is also an ice cream shop in the mall called Mr. Scoop. When you walk by the glass windows you can see the workers getting ready for you to come in, and when you open the door the ice cream guys say loudly in unison, “Welcome to Mister Scoop!” I love going in and leaving and going in again so I can hear them say it over and over. My husband gets really embarrassed when I do this and forces us to buy something because they took the effort to say, “Welcome to Mr. Scoop” when we entered. The best thing is that the ice cream is soy-based (dairy free) for people with milk allergies. I’m telling you, West Africa is on the move!

In my nanny’s movie review news, she just finished watching the Star Wars series. After she watched Episode IV (the first one made) I asked her what she thought, not knowing what she would think about all that outer-space stuff. Her reply was, “Mommy! Indiana Jones was in it!” She deserves her own movie review show.

Big changes are on the way for my family and me. First, I will quit my government job at the end of this month. And a soon as I get back from my very much-needed vacation, I will begin work on my manifesto against USAID! Just kidding—I think I'd have to wait until my husband quits his job to open up those floodgates. But I have the material. Until then, I’ll live in my censored universe.

Even more life-changing is the fact that the end of our time in Ghana is in sight—we are leaving here for good in less than three months. I can’t say I’m getting nostalgic, but I am starting to think about what it will be like not to live here anymore. And I’m worried about my son and how he will cope with the transition. So leaving will be just a bit emotional for me.

We are off to Argentina. I’m calling it my “quality of life tour.” Time to live in a place with water we can drink, and hospitals we won’t fear going to. I’m sure I won’t have as many freaky stories to write about from there, but I will have more free time. I plan to carry on my tradition of writing home via updates from the Southern Cone. I also plan to have a few more visitors!

Also, I wanted to report that my 15-month-old son, whose speech I was lamenting just a few months ago because it wasn’t developing as fast as I had expected, has started to say a few words. They are unintelligible to most, but I know what he is saying. He says car, bottle, flower, cow, dada, shoes, ball, baby, and bye bye. So all is well on that front.

I can’t sign off without mentioning the super-cool, total eclipse I witnessed a few weeks back in Accra, along with most of the population from Brazil to Mongolia. All of Ghana was outside and looking up at the sun for the few minutes it became totally dark around 9:00 am. I learned the following about this celestial event from another work colleague: “It was earth’s first total solar eclipse since 2003, and that one was a much less dramatic event because of its brief duration and because it occurred in the extreme southern hemisphere where it was not seen by many people. The next total eclipse will occur in the extreme northern hemisphere on August 1, 2008. The United States will not see a total solar eclipse until 2017. There will be sixteen total eclipses over Africa in the 21st century.”

I’ll have to send this email out at some later point when my Internet service is working again. For $100/month it would be nice to have consistent service. But no, crappy DSL service at a terribly high price from a government-owned Internet provider is not a freak occurrence in Ghana. Don’t even get me started on Ghana Telecom and the anti-privatization movement because clearly, government-provided service is cheaper and better than it would be if there was some ^$#*% competition in the telecom sector! Argh! It's just how things are in Ghana these days. But they are going to change.